Hold On

I took my family to the Yankees victory parade on Friday. We took the Staten Island Ferry into Manhatten. By the time we got there the parade route had already been blocked off. We couldn't get over to see much of anything. We did manage to make our way over to where the parade started. We could see the ticker-tape up ahead. And we saw the marching bands and even the floats- just not the Yankees.

In order to get to where we could see anything we had to make our way through a crowd. This crowd was composed of a couple million of my closest friends- and I mean closest in proximity. As we walked through the crowd there were people pressing up against us from every direction. There was really no such thing as "personal space" in that moment. One kid tried pushing me out of the way- I looked at him and let him know that while I was polite, I was still a whole lot bigger and stronger than he was.

I felt bad for my 5 and 6 year old daughters who were holding onto my hands. They couldn't see anything except for the backside of the person in front of them. If you've read many of my posts, you probably have figured out that most of the stories about flatulence that I tell involve them. But this time I was afraid that they would be on the receiving end- right at nose level.

The experience of children holding on tight to dad while in a crowd is a good picture of what Christians are told to do in Hebrews 10:23, which says, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." We are instructed to hold on tightly to the truth that Jesus is the way to God. We must believe this fact and then live our lives based on the truth of Jesus being our way to God. And just as an earthly parent makes sure that the kids hold on tight, we can be sure that God will help us cling to Him appropriately.

Silly Kids

Not long ago my first grade daughter asked, "Dad, remember when we went to New City York?"

Last night my daughter in kindergarten didn't want to be in bed. She tried to tell me that she was scared of the "hell . . . ss" outside her window. She was referring to a neighbor's "house" that she could see since the curtain wasn't quite all the way closed.

This morning my wife and I had trouble waking up one of the children. I was talking to her and pestering her. Eventually we started to tickle her. Did you know that in some children tickling is the trigger to farting? We found that out this morning. We kept tickeling, and she kept excreting gas (loudly).

Another Building Update

God continues to move the building project forward! Some of our Building Committee met with the architect today. The initial plans are exactly what we expected. The architect asked questions and listened to our comments about the plans. Additional details were discussed- things like coat rooms and audio rooms, the size of the kitchen pantry, and places where extra electric outlets will be helpful. All of those changes can be included on the final, more detailed plans. The plans which we currently have are ready to be submitted to the planning board of our township.

The site engineer informed me last week that he will be ready to meet with me by the end of this week. He wants to show us the preliminary site plans. These plans are also necessary when we go to the planning board.

In addition to the architect and site engineer, we also need to have an attorney help us with our submission to the planning board. We recently selected the appropriate attorney and he helped us with another matter. We agreed today to send this attorney a retainer check.

Please continue to pray that God will provide the funds and the approvals that we need in order to make this building a reality. Please also pray that we would indeed use this new building to serve God, His people, and our community.

God is Good

I still believe in miracles. We saw one last night. Last night John informed me that the lawyer received permission for us to use the parsonage for classrooms. We don't need to rent a trailer. We don't need tents. We don't need to find a different meeting area. I just need to clean my house. Praise God.

picture of building

Here is a basic idea of what the plans are for the new church building. It is a 7,500 square foot building. The santuary is between 2500 and 3000 square feet. The latest plans from the architect have a few small changes, but this is the basic layout that we are currently hoping to build. The latest plans from the architect have 200 seats in the sanctuary.

Building Update

God recently placed an opportunity in front of our congregation. The fire inspector and fire marshall informed us that the classrooms we use for the children are not considered part of the church, but rather part of the residence. Therefore, the classrooms are not zoned correctly and cannot be used. I call this an opportunity because it is a chance that we did not previously have to see how God will work.

The Building Committee met last night and we invited other people from the congregation to join us to consider this issue. While many ideas have been considered, we are looking at a classroom trailer as a very good option. We still have some questions that need to be answered, but we are going to try to get the answers very soon. Some of the other ideas are also being pursued. We would like to have a solution in place for our 15 year celebration on November 8.

Here is a list of things that have happened in the past month regarding the building project:

Conversations with the site engineer and attorney let us know that a gravel parking lot is a possibility, though it is not guaranteed (this is important in the short term because of cost).

We sent money to both the site engineer and the architect to retain their services.

The site engineer and architect are coordinating with each other.

The builder is in contact with the architect. Once the architect does a certain amount of the work he will send those plans to the builder so the builder can do the engineering plans for the interior and also so he can give us a final price.

A topographical survey of the property was completed.

The attorney is sending a proposal for a company to determine that we don't have wetlands- we need to make sure that the site engineer was not already doing this.

One other important development came about this month. Ironically, the bad news from the fire inspector lead us to some ideas that we had never previously considered. With some renovation work we might be able to rent out the chapel and part of the basement as residences. If we are able to rent out these spaces, the rent would probably cover the additional mortgage money that we will need each month to pay for the new building. Now you can see how the fire inspector closing down some classrooms is actually an opportunity from the Lord.

I'm Not Funny Enough

Ok, my wife didn't say it exactly, but after reading my past several posts she pointed out that the blog had not made her laugh and that there weren't any funny stories. Please keep in mind that I am not a comedian, I'm a pastor. And I don't write the blog simply to entertain, but also to inform. But a smart man listens to the advice of his wife. So please enjoy the rest of this entry as I try to provide you with some of the humor that I have selfishly kept from you (or perhaps protected you from).

So, what's funny to you? A lot of people find physical humor to be funny and easy. I was leaving the house today while pulling a large, empty box behind me. Why did I have this box? Because before it was empty it contained a new desk chair. Why did I need a new chair? Because the one that I have used for many years decided that it no longer wanted to hold me! The old chair tried magnificently to dump me to the ground. I got to the point where sitting on that chair required all of my focus, or else I would tumble to the ground. I caught myself several times, but it never succeeded in dumping me all the way to the floor (there were some very close calls). I now realize that I was devoting all of my attention to self-preservation, and therefore I had no creativity available for humor.

So I was dragging this large box out from the new chair out the door and down the front steps. In my other hand I was holding an open drink. I had just locked the door behind me, so my keys were in my other hand. And in my other hand I was carrying some papers. Since I am not a monster or an action figure, I really only have two hands. But as I attempted to carry too many items I fell victim to the clumsiness inherent in my heredity. It wasn't so much a lack of coordination- I think it had more to do with the fact that my ankle rolled right out from underneath me. Once again, my tremendous instinct for self-preservation kicked in and I managed to avoid falling to the ground. But the cost of staying upright was two-fold- first, I have continuing pain in my ankle which rolled; second, I seem to have lost some of my ability for humor as all of my attention was focused on my ankle.

Of course my children provide lots of material for comic relief. Again, physical humor gets the easy laughs. I'll avoid telling you which of the kids did these things in order to protect the guilty, but one of them recently had a booger on the top of their head- not absolutely certain about how that happened. At dinner tonight one child was not feeling well. Then came a long and pronounced experience with flatulence which brought a big smile to her face. All of her stomach problems farted away and she became a happy camper. Meanwhile, the rest of us were trying to eat. Okay, so the rest of us laughed as well and all was right with the world for that moment.

To my wife, I apologize for not being funny enough. To everyone else, watch out for office chairs and ground that attacks. And remember that being there when someone else passes gas can bring a smile to your face- or it might just choke you and finish off the job that the ground and the chair started.